For generations out of mind, the Burrows clan has held the Under Hill, a residence so thoroughly established in the hillside that the very roots of the ancient tree above have grown into the ceiling to keep them company.
Its current occupant, one P. H. Burrows, is a leporine gentleman of good sense and better taste.
A Splendid Subterranean Scullery
While his family home might once have been a trifle rustic — not that the old tunnels were ever inadequate, you understand, for a Burrows has never been known to tolerate a draft — his forebears each had a hand in its refinement. Under their care, the Under Hill ceased to be a mere residence and became a masterpiece of subterranean engineering.
His many-greats-grandmother, for instance, believed one should never be more than six paces from a biscuit or a cool drink, and so designed a scullery that could hold enough nibbles to last through a fortnight of heavy rains. From its root-ribbed ceiling, she hung bundles of dried flowers, ensuring the air was perpetually seasoned with the faint, comforting scent of lavender and thistle.
The Silent Sentinels
The bed-nook, too, received a personal touch from Mr. Burrows’ great-great-grandfather. Being a fellow of deep sentiment and perhaps a touch of superstition, he felt his room required “watchers” — silent sentinels to preside over his peaceful slumber. He set his chisel to work upon his stout bedposts, and now, there dwell a pair of hand-carved owls. These are not the screeching, flighty sorts that pester one in the dark woods, but owls of a most dignified and sedentary character.
The Liquid Depths
Throughout all these improvements, the family remained steadfast in their disdain for verticality. “Steps,” they were often heard to mutter, “are for the flighty and the feather-brained.” Consequently, the renovations ensured the entire burrow remained perfectly level, allowing visitors with wheeled-conveyances to navigate with ease.
Perhaps the most “progressive” addition, however, was the ultra-deep soaking tub set between massive stones. Mr. Burrows’ own grandfather spent many an afternoon ensuring it was the exact depth required for a gentleman to submerge himself entirely, leaving only his nose above the water.
A Sudden Departure
Mr. Burrows thoroughly enjoyed the peace and quiet the Under Hill provided, but one morning at breakfast, he had a peculiar notion. “It’s a day,” he murmured to his reflection in a polished spoon, “to see a bit of the world.” Donning his finest waistcoat, he stepped outside and into the golden wash of sunlight. He did not really mean to go on an adventure, but one thing led to another, and off he’s gone.
While he’s away, he has left his Under Hill refuge for those weary travellers who seek to live, for a time, with a bit of comfort — we hope you will come for a visit soon.